The tendency of all humans 'experiencing life' is to resist life itself.
For the purposes of this writing the word 'ego' will be replaced with the phrase
'construct manager'. This will de-personalise 'ego' and simply give what appears to be actively alive a technical descriptive term. 'ego' has too much cred now with a million and one books discussing the 'ego' and its role and ways to 'get rid of 'ego'. Getting rid of the 'ego' implies of course that there is a someone and an 'ego' with relation to that someone and therefore the 'ego' has become a problem for the someone to 'fix' or 'change'. Ironically the way the construct manager works is to manage ALL doing, fixing, changing, bettering, monitoring, improving and general work of transformation..... it is however, the work of transforming or improving or bettering or fixing or healing the very 'ego' that seeks to fix. It is then an actual 'ego' improvement. It is believed that since the construct manager is in essence who and what 'you' seem to be that bettering this construct manager will better 'you'. Even this 'ego' improvement will only ever seemingly improve things as much as the 'ego' deems safe and within previously 'known' boundaries.
The construct manager is ever vigilant apparently keeping the 'you' safe and in familiar territory. Uncharted waters are frowned upon by this construct manager
so most things that raise the alarm as different or unusual or out of the safety paradigm are closely scrutinised and most often refused, pushed away, fought against or looked at as a problem to solve. 'Enlightenment' is a common 'problem to solve' experienced by the seeker on the spiritual path.
Of course the construct manager has managed the construction of all the stories leading to beliefs leading to customised behaviour leading to control leading to the sense of having developed a map for life along with the necessary 'knowing' required to navigate the waters of life... safely and in 'known' ways.
The construct manager's mantra is 'NO.... not this'. So the search for something better than this continues using the 'no' as weaponry in the arsenal of the construct manager as its apparent job is carried out... 24 / 7.
This refusal of life itself and the totality of experience keeps the construct manager busy and with purpose in life... apparently.
The constant contraction of the 'no' operating whenever life happens in a way that the construct manager sees as not safe begins to take its toll and pain and suffering arise.
The assumption that 'i' know better than life itself what is good for 'me' is an innocent and mistaken viewpoint attempting to control the very essence of life itself.
This way of seeing fuels the belief that if 'i' just do things a certain way then 'i' will get what 'i' want and need in life. In fact 'i' can learn ways to manifest whatever 'i' want in life by changing the way 'my' mind operates and by raising 'my' vibration and by allowing. Sadly what is busy allowing is the construct manager and based on what this matrix 'knows' this allowing will, by the very nature of the construct manger, be extremely limited and totally conditional... apparently.
In this way there is a complete bypassing of 'what is' in order to attempt to effect change over 'what is' and to seek an improvement on 'what is' as soon as possible.
As if this was not enough to do, the construct manager is also looking apparently for ways to effect change on all those pesky people 'outside me' who make 'me' feel less than 'i' would like to be. If only 'they' could understand 'me' and support 'me' getting what it is 'i' want and need... NOW. Out comes the weaponry as the construct manager goes into hyperdrive to manipulate change one way or another by influencing, coercing, pleading with, pushing, arguing, offering, apologising, flirting with, crying, blaming, seducing and on and on and on.
It is endless because the construct manager has a built in survival chip so to speak that keeps it going ad infinitum simply with the goal of continuing existence.
The fear that the heart 'leaning in to something' to listen closer may not be safe or certainly not sensible becomes the default setting by which the human organism functions under the thumb of the construct manager which after all is just doing its job... seemingly. The construct manager has erected a structure of knowing and of proving and of solving that takes care of everything that passes through the filter of experience for the human being in life.
The presence of a softer, clearer and vastly natural 'existing within life' whatever evolves, seems vulnerable and not strong and likely to just allow whatever life brings to happen without a fight, without a question, without a challenge, without an improvement, without a doubt, without a proving otherwise, without avoiding the pain. This would seem like living with the doors unlocked for anyone or anything to enter. Pull up the drawbridge and protect the safety of the 'me' that is resisting life itself because 'i' don't always like what life has to offer 'me'.
This need to control is innocent arrogance at best as the 'ego' asserts its prior knowledge of the 'me' in order to keep safe the structure that has been so painstakingly built to weather the storms and to seek betterment... within limits.
What you are is the embrace that is life itself flowing eternally.
The refusal of this embrace and the resistance to what is creates tension and contraction and the 'no' battles on claiming victory after victory while there is this nagging sense of missing 'something' in life. Conversely at times the construct managers only way of feeling ok or alive is to say 'yes' to actions that are dangerous or wild as the rush of adrenaline through the organisms system makes the organism feel alive and vital. Ironically this 'yes' is really the 'no' to the feeling of needing a rush or a sensory experience to feel really alive.
Perhaps a gentle, fiercely graceful resting in only what is, just this free of judgment or the refusal simply allows life to be... as it always is beneath the stormy waters of the 'egoic mind' and its battles with life.
This is no mere letting go or allowing as a project for the mind to engage in but a giving up the need to control everything, everyone, every impulse, every action, every thought, every belief, every experience, every outcome, every situation. Control is the domain of the seeming 'ego' as it pretends to be the leader, the royalty, the top dog, the driver, the director... 'ego' thinks it is GOD!
Feel into what is 'true'. Soften into what is. Be in clarity. Be life. Let life. Get out of the way.
The 'yes' already is. 'You' are the 'yes'.
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